Older Women and VAWG
At the SWC, we believe it is vital that the intersecting elements of women’s lives are highlighted, with older women often being missed when considering violence and abuse. In this view, we invited Eileen Cawley, from the Scottish Pensioners’ Forum to reflect on older women’s experiences, as part of our 16 Days of Activism.
OLDER WOMEN: HIDDEN VOICES HAVE STORIES TOO
Thankfully, legislation in the UK has come a long way in protecting women from the archaic laws of yesteryear which, up until 1992, had seen the forced sexual abuse of women within marriage as ‘a man’s right’ and had, until the Equality Act 2010, endorsed a ‘put up and shut up’ mentality allowing the sexual harassment of women in the workplace to be an everyday occurrence.
All of these measures are welcome, our fight is a continuing one, and although it may be that society is now trying to right its wrongs, we still have to cast our mind back to the hidden voices, the women who lived in fear from reproach, and the many who still do; these mental scars are not so easily forgotten.
According to recent statistics by the World Health Organization, older women are more at risk of abuse and remain largely under-represented when it comes to research findings - why is this?
What we do know from speaking to older women is that many of them didn’t see their suffering as abuse, in their eyes, marriage was for life. From being told by well-meaning mothers and aunts on their wedding day to ‘never air your dirty laundry in public,’ women endured abuse as part of the very fabric of their marriage; the hushed whispers on street corners of what had been heard behind walls being a shame many had to bear.
Even those women who had mustered the courage to speak up were hastily dismissed by the police, being told that their abuse was just ‘a domestic’. Often threatened with ‘having the weans taken off them if they left,’ many women, with no real financial independence to support themselves or their children, stayed put in their unsafe environment.
But, even after the children are long gone, it would seem that this pattern of abuse continues, or for many women, is only just beginning.
Ageing and retirement are transitions that many couples find difficult to deal with. Spending more time together at home and heading into your twilight years may seem like the fairytale scenario after years of hard graft, but for many women the horrors of abuse are just beginning. Financial constraints in retirement, which often means every penny has to be accounted for, can cause visible cracks to appear and the financial abuse of women, many of whom are on a much lesser state pension, can take hold again.
Abuse of older women comes in all forms, and despite not all being touched on here, we must never forget that they exist.
From this, it would not be right to say that older women are not strong and resilient, they most certainly are. Despite their own suffering over the years, they have raised their children to know the difference between right and wrong – how else would society be pushing forward for change if they hadn’t?
As we take the hands of our children and grandchildren, guiding them forward into a much safer society for women and girls, we must always look back with a nod and a thank you; it’s the very least that they deserve.
Author - Eileen Cawley, Scottish Pensioners Forum
